It all began with a dress.....

 About a week ago, I decided I needed a new dress. I went shopping. Mind you, I am NOT a size 2 (probably won't be anytime in the next year...). My body is shaped like a hourglass. Hourglasses don't fit the perfect size two dress. Anywoo...
 I went shopping. First store-30 dresses-it was all Ugly. Me in the dress ugly. The dress on me-ugly. If men are the ones designing-please look at women for who they really are-we are not all a size 2. (and if you are a size two-congrats-pick any dress on the rack and it will be for you.) Sorry if I offended anyone-it's not your fault- it's this countries view on what is beautiful, Not Gods-cause he thinks I'm beautiful-no matter what size I am.
Next store-Jackpot. I found a dress I loved. It was a.dor.a.ble. I was so excited! I couldn't wait to put it on and show the hubby. I bought it at a steal $90 dress-$37 bucks!!
Came home. Went to church that night. Took bath. Put on dress. Came downstairs to show hubby......................................
(after an up and down look) "I don't like it at all."
I retreat. I cry. I have my own personal pity party and take another bath-in tears.
I have a moment. Will he ever love me-for me? This size 12 woman who has bore 5 of his children. Makes his dinner almost every night and cares so deeply for him.
I am hurt. Maybe if I was a size 2 he'd be happier. Maybe everyone would be happier.
I am dissapointed. Why did I even think I looked good in that dress.
Oh, well.

Next Day
Me "I'm taking that dress back"
Him "Why don't we go together and I can show you what I like?"
Me "No thanks. I don't think I'll be buying a dress anytime soon"
Him "Why?"
Me "You hurt my feelings. I can't wear what YOU want me to wear. I have to be skinny to wear that"
Him "I'm sure we can find something"
Me "No thank you."
silence
**And then he emailed me pics of what he liked...so that didn't help the situation.

Sunday
Isn't God so good, that even when I'm not looking beautiful inside or out-He thinks I am. The message was so good. I choose to see what God sees or the world sees. I am beautiful to him.
I am also beautiful to my husband. Whether or not he chooses to always tell me, I am still the one he longs for.
In the days hence, I wasn't very nice. Words were said (yea, I know-after coming out of church-no less. I am not perfect.) I was still angry over the way he said it. Either way, I held Unforgiveness.
Today
Hubby came home for lunch. I made a comment I really shouldn't have.
His response " You've really been saying a lot of things to hurt my feelings lately. Do you think we can make a promise to one another to not say things like that? I know I haven't always said the right things, but we both need to change our mouths."
I looked dumbfounded. I'm sure of it.
"Ok. I'm sorry. I love you"
Just Now
The Lord took me to Song of Soloman. It's filled with sweet words to the one he loves. That's what marriage should look like. Not filled with anger over something that someone said that maybe, just maybe they didn't mean to say. I am truly sorry I said those things to him. I love him. I know he really loves me. He tells me all the time. Maybe I am the one who needs to change what I look like to him.
The bible states in
 2 Corinthians 3:18-20 Amp

18And all of us, as with unveiled face, [because we] continued to behold [in the Word of God] as in a mirror the glory of the Lord, are constantly being transfigured into His very own image in ever increasing splendor and from one degree of glory to another; [for this comes] from the Lord [Who is] the Spirit.

I am not seeing what He sees because I am apparently not looking at what I should look like. His image of me (and you) is SO different. He loves us despite all the mistake we make. I encourage you to look at yourself in His mirror (the word of God-B.I.B.L.E.) and remind yourself today of what I have to continually remind myself of.
I am not defined by what size I am, the house I live in, the kids I have, the husband I have. I am defined by who God says I am.....Beautiful, worth it, kind, loving, a great Mom, a great Wife......and much more.

Proverbs 31:13,21,25,27  A woman of Eternal Signifigance (Spirit Filled Life Bible Kingdom Dynamics) Women in God's design. A virtuous woman not only cares physically for her home, but she is also a "watchman" over the emotional and spiritual condition of her family (v27) Tsaphah Hebrew for "watches" (Strongs #6822), is also translated "watchman". She works willingly with her hands, two kinds of which are mentioned in Prov. 31: kaph , symbolizing upturned hands extended in prayer and Yad, ministering or serving hands. Confident in the God to whom she prays, the effective woman knows she has eternal signifigance.