Busy...

Yep. That's the word I am lately...BUSY. But who isn't? 

I've been busy with birthdays, doctor's diagnoses, school work, school changes-(I plan on sending everyone back to private school and going back to work), work changes, family emergencies...You get my drift!

God is so good. We've been through some very rough changes, which I won't discuss. Some of which were life changing/altering. I have crawled out of a depression thanks to my sweet Jesus. Who loves me always beyond my own comprehension.

I've never known the mercy and grace of God so much more in my life than right now. Learning to walk in LOVE rather than hatred. Wow, not an easy walk whatsoever...but certainly worth every moment knowing that it's what Jesus would want me to do....

Some happiness from our house to yours...

Any how, I will try and post, but I won't make any promises.....Just when I think of blogging and can't, I will pray for you....

Three....Oh Me!!

I remember this day....

You were having a hard time making your way into this world, but you finally came kicking and screaming.....And then you brought sweet Joy to all of us!

Now....You're almost 3!!! Where has all the time gone, Sweet girl?

It's beginning to Look...

Like Joy and Happiness are back in this house. Sometimes I just gotta let out some steam and get back in my prayer closet! I'll update more soon-If Christmas doesn't get too crazy!!

Hurting...

Tonight is just one of those nights where I'm gonna pour out my heart, and if you care to join me-do. But plan not to judge because I am withered and weak, but pressing ever so close to MY Father's heart.  I am bearing my soul, not for you, but for me.
This last year has been a struggle. A struggle of faith, fear, patience, weakness, perserverance......and so many more feelings that I can't describe. I look back to a year ago and I wouldn't have thought we'd still be in the same spot we are. I thought we'd be further. But apparently not and I am certain God knows that too.
Too many times I push myself. I am a helper, nuturer by nature-but some days this woman needs nuturing too.
Yes, I chose the life I have. The amount of children, the homeschool {by God's direction}, the daily rucuss and all that goes with it. But I feel drained. I wake serving, I go to bed thinking of what I have to do tomorrow-yes, the life of all Mothers; wives; women.
I am tired and weak-weak in my faith walk. I feel like a failure. I feel like I just want to pack a suitcase and just RUN. Run where? I have no clue. I know in the times I felt this way, I cannot run to a natural someone-I have tried those efforts before-I have to run to God. I have to shut out all of the outside influences and run to HIM. This time seems harder somehow. Like I have to hide my face-Like I can't find relief in HIM. {which is a lie from the enemy, of course}
I feel like I am suffocating. Like I can't breath-Too many voices-Too many people calling "Mom", "Robin", "Honey"......when does it end.
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHhhh.....Yea, that is what it sounds like in my head.  I need fresh air....I need HIS presence.
I need a breath of the freshest air possible, a dose of God's Holy presence. Where I can be Me. Where He holds me and tells me how much HE loves me. I am beautiful, I am loved, I am valued.
A place where man often runs from. A place where many say that HE doesn't exist or doesn't care. OH, but not me. I know better. I just need a gentle reminder sometimes. {ok, so sometimes it's not so gently, it's sometimes a swift kick to the rear}


My task now, I have decided to write down all the things I do and decide what counts and what stays on the list. Some things have to go. I have to have time to be in His presence and time to take care of me. I have long gone on taking care of everyone else and my body is telling me I have to take care of me if I plan on taking care of everyone else from now on. My body is hurting. {Healed}.

Are you outliving your life?

When we awoke the morn of our daughter surgery, I wanted a book to read. I am not an avid reader by any means-(besides home school books and my bible) I wanted something easy and interesting. We have plenty on our bookshelf and many more packed in boxes awaiting our move. I happened upon "Outlive your life" by Max Lucado. I love Max. I love the way he writes-it's so personable and real!

  I was already nervous about the whole day-just the scariness of your two year old daughter having any procedure done is nerve racking! But God....(isn't that a GREAT thing to know) But GOD, in all of his glory showed up....We had a whole pre op session with the doctor, nurses and anesthesia doctors. They ask before they took her back if I had any questions-I said "Can we pray together" and with an overwhelming response "We'd love to".
  We stood praying over our baby girl and anyone who came in contact with her that all would go well. They took her back...crying a little, but then knocked out by the time she turned the hallway.
We took our trip to the surgery waiting area and I cracked open this book....I couldn't put it down! It took my breath away!
Then, my hubby was looking at quotes for his class (which he loves to do) and he found this one

"Is what you are living for today, worth Christ dying for?"

Oh man, it hit home. Everyday, I sit, with my beautiful children and teach them the word (bible), science, math, language arts, etc and I am responsible for what they carry out into the world. Oh, what a wonderful thing! But, just knowing your in the will of God is simply not enough! Am I sharing my freedom in Jesus with others? Am I letting them know exactly all that He delivered me from? Am I sharing my Jesus so that they can Outlive their lives?

What do I mean by "Outlive your life"-well, in this book, it starts out talking about a "ship captain who is sailing the world and he stopping on all these different islands. The first few islands, he sees nothing but sadness, poverty, simple, needy people. Then, he steps onto the last and largest island. The people are healthy and well fed. Irrigation systems nourish fields, and roads connect villages. The children have bright eyes and strong bodies. The captain asks the chief for an explanation. How has this island moved so far ahead of the others?

 The chief, gives a quick response "Father Benjamin". The captain asks to see him. They guide the captain over to a medical clinic, but no Father Benjamin. They then guide him to a Fishery. The captain is impressed. but no Father Benjamin. "Where is Father Benjamin?" the captain asks. "Please take me where he lives."

"Lets go up to the mountain" the chief says. They lead the captain up a steep, narrow path. After many twists and turns the path deposits them in front of a grass roofed chapel. The voice of the chief is soft and earnest. "He has taught us about God". He escorts the captain inside and shows him the altar, a large wooden cross, several rows of benches and a bible.

"Is this where Father Benjamin lives?" asks the captain

The men nod and smile

"May I talk with him?"

Their faces grow suddenly serious. "Oh, that would be impossible."

"Why?"

"He died many years ago."

The bewildered captain stares at the men."I asked to see him, and you showed me a clinic, some fish farms, and this chapel. You said nothing of his death"

                  "You didn't ask about his death," the chief explains. "You asked to see where he lives.

We showed you."

 (Max Lucado "Outlive your Life")

Wow! Wasn't that powerful! Is what I am doing on a daily basis gonna be looked at in the years to come and have value? I believe in my situation, it will. I am daily pouring God's children with HIS word. But I do have to  admit, I don't always do it right or share what I am so blessed to know with others. So, that is now, something I have to change. Will you join me? Please write a comment on something you want others to know when you have died.....What will "Outlive your life" look like for you?

Con'd tomorrow......