I look in the mirror and I see a mistake ridden woman who is unhappy with herself. Why can't I follow through with what God has for me? Why is it so hard? Let's be real. Let's face it. We are not perfect-your certainly not talking about me if you say perfect!
I am overweight. I am ugly. I am not the best mother-that's for sure, or wife for that matter. I want to be better, but I choose do to the opposite. I put on a fake facade. It looks pretty on the outside, to everyone else-but inside here-the walls of this are falling apart. (ya know, like a pretty present and then you open it and it wasn't what you expected...yey, that's me.)
I prayed about homeschooling, and I obeyed God. I did it. And to be honest, there are days that I HATE it. The arguments that insue, the drama that goes on-I can't stand it. And then I realize-it's because I didn't start my day with the Lord. I am doing it in my own flesh. In my weakness. He can't help me if I don't ask. (see how there is a theme going?)
And so today, I am asking, So, in all this, I am planning on renaming my blog-because after much thought-what am I really confessing over my family if I call it "Drama City"? Granted it looked cute (ya know like that package we talked about)-but I want good things for them and it begins with a new name this coming year....Any suggestions, please don't hesistate. I am praying over it. Thanks for
"Lord, I need more of you-less of me. Where I am weak, you make me strong. Holy Spirit, lead me and guide me today and this new year coming. I am a yielded vessel... I mean it!"
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2 comments:
oh my sweet friend.. i"m sorry you're feeling crummy!
You are a wonderful mom, wife, friend... person!
everyone is mistake ridden! We ALL make mistakes. We all do stuff that if exposed would be mortifying. Or at least I know I do. You should hear me yelling at the kids... that would make you feel better really quick! :) What the devil wants to do it beat you over the head with those mistakes. No matter how unhappy you feel about yourself... Jesus is very pleased. He knew the mistakes you were going to make before you've even made them.
You are beautiful & wonderful women!
If it helps any... I think all moms feel this way from time to time. (or often... if you're like me :)...) I think it's a part of motherhood. Being a mom ain't easy... I think you are doing an awesome thing... not just home-schooling... but being obedient & willing to do it. I know how hard it is with just 3 who aren't home-schooled. I could only imagine. I look up to you & admire you.
hang in there girl. It WILL get better.
My dear, sweet bestfriend... where to begin? Don't you know what a difference you make? Sure we all make mistakes but God is a God of second chances and for everything done wrong He can replace it with something so very right. I love you and I am proud of you for following through with what God told you to do. It will get easier and on a different note. I'm glad you are changing your blog name! If I have any ideas I'll send them your way. In light of everything you've posted...I'm reminded of everything you've taught me over the years. Some of which you probably never knew. Like you wear your heart on your sleeve...before I was scared to let anyone see me cry. Another one is that you are a great friend...I never really wanted to be bothered with anyone else's life...but you showed me how deperately we need Godly friends to hold us up when you can't go on by oneself...Anyway I could go on and on...not sure if I want to post it (LOL). Love you gal!
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