My thoughts for today...

I am not well today. I haven't really felt 100% for about a week. Some things happened with school, with my hubby and my health. Words were said that hurt like a knife, and although I know I shouldn't listen to them, some still ring true.
I am thinking of my own life, my faith, my circumstances. And I need to be reminded what the word says about all this. I need to dig deep today. I need to know HIS promises are true.....I mean...I do know they are true...I just need to remind myself.
This road called life is not easy and I am finding I want change more than ever now! You know this change too...
I wanted to pack my bags and leave this place-have you ever felt that way? I have, many a time. Just now, it's different.
Before, I wanted to leave because Chris and I were struggling in our marriage and I never thought it work. Now, I want to leave because I am the one who can't find herself. I don't know who I am-I mean, I know what God has said for us as a couple, but not for me.
I am waiting, listening.....but all I here is silence. Maybe He is waiting for me to shut my mouth and listen. I am quite unsure. I felt so sure....now I am wondering where I went wrong.
I know God has shown us what we are headed to do, but have you ever gotten frustrated because you couldn't see the whole picture? I am one of those people who need a map with directions to get to my destination. In this case....God has given parts to the map.....almost like a treasure map...and I have to search out the rest.
I am afraid. I am unsure. I am scared. I am......not trusting HIM like I should. (i am being real with you all) I have to learn to let go and let God....so...I am just beginning to completely let go....and it feels like falling. I will fall into HIS arms and I believe He will catch me!
Isaiah 41:10
10'Do notfear, for I am with you; Do not anxiously look about you, for I am your God I will strengthen you, surely I will help you, Surely I will uphold you with My righteous right hand.'